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Cowgirl Blues

by katie ellen

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Bizarro Dustin
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Bizarro Dustin Every now and then an album comes into your life and utterly wrecks you. It resonates with you on a level where you can’t tell if it’s easing the knife out of your wound or if it’s twisting it more. But you keep coming back even if it's destroying you because as painful as it might be, living without it is even more painful. Katie Ellen's 'Cowgirl Blues' is one of those albums. I can honestly say that this album kept me from spiraling out when I was at my lowest and I'll forever be grateful. Favorite track: cowgirl blues.
Agent K
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Agent K From The Ashes of Chumped comes Anika Pyle's first solo foray.
Great Alt-Indie Pop/punk flow with the same biting lyrical content that made her former band a joy to behold with just enough edge to keep things real.
Terrific as expected! Favorite track: lucy stone.
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1.
drawing room 04:13
it’s raining baby I don’t want to go outside take me to a quiet place where we can run and hide find me baby between past and present tense in a gallery of chairs where I can sit and make some sense take me to the drawing room where I’ll withdraw from everything but you come on darling don’t you like to see the trees? I know they’re out of season but they make me feel something like lightness baby or a warmth that can’t compare to the chill that I’ve been feeling during this part of the year and I know I can’t escape indecision but I could sit for a while and admire the precision of a Dutch landscape painter painting pictures of the hillside in the eighteenth century where I was wishing I was living so I wouldn’t have to face all of the things I’m trying to ruin I would float there so freely in a room that’s built strictly for entertaining and retreating take me to the drawing room where I’ll withdraw from everything but you
2.
wild heart 02:06
Wild heart with a tendency for staying Talk a lot and say absolutely nothing I’m awake. I’m asleep. I’m still dreaming Lost eternal, a propensity for lying Paris is blooming I’m feeling blue We’re saying nothing At the footsteps of the Lourve I like to keep things that remind me of you
3.
lucy stone 02:10
well i don't wanna have your children does that make me less of a woman? i don't believe in getting married it's a social economic prison we're in love i can't give you all my time we're in love i will never call you mine love is not enough i shouldn't let you call me baby but i like the way you say it you're always showing up on time and i am constantly arriving late and we're in love i am not afraid to tell you we're in love i am keeping my own room love is not enough nothing is forever it's stupid to think so so love me until one of us wants to be left alone love is not enough
4.
tv dreams 02:21
i am miserable with you miserable without you and every time i try to think it through i wind up thinking of the things we used to do like wake up in the morning thinking forward come home in the evening to the tv talking on the weekends about running away to some expensive, quiet foreign city i hope you're happy i think you want the same for me you can call me if you can't sleep and you feel lonely i guess i called to say that you can call me i guess i called to say that you can call me i guess i called to say that you can call me call me
5.
proposal 01:54
i wore a white dress at the court house you said you wanted to be the one to pose the ultimate question i thought it’d be good it felt important now I’m uncertain I feel embarrassed I’m sick of fucking in our bed I’m sick of fucking in our bed I’m sick of fucking in our bed I’m sick of imagining us fucking in my head I’m sick of fucking in our bed I’m sick of fucking with your head sick of you fucking with my head sick of imagining us fucking in my head
6.
I hope you find a stable girl who treats you like you deserve it take her home at Christmas time impress your middle class parents god knows that I could never meet all of their gold expectations and if they want the family jewels then pack them up they can take them you have “known for quite a while that I am not so well” sad girls don’t make good wives when you’re sitting in the dark next to a girl who could love you at the indie movie house watching a film you’d take me to I hope you feel a little peace thinking I’ve finally gone crazy and you can take her slender hand make her your wife and be happy You have “known for quite a while that I am not so well” sad girls don’t make good wives “she was brilliant and so talented but she was sad and sick and that’s what killed her in the end”
7.
han 02:49
perfect autumn evening I’m reveling, I’m ruminating we wait until the stars come out to say goodnight I’m wondering, I’m wandering loneliness is always better with a friend there’s a thousand different ways to say you’re sad in Korean where do you keep your pain? where do you find your strength? what do you think about? You can’t sleep at night. You’re alone at the museum. are you happy? loneliness is always better with a friend there’s a thousand different ways to say you’re sad in Korean
8.
I miss the sound of the dial tone I miss getting excited picking up the phone I’d go anywhere with you I think you know that we’d be good at making houses into homes meet me in the courtyard darling tell me I’m the one you and me forever baby nothing can go wrong I can’t see in front of me but I think that we’d be good at making houses into homes I wish you’d taken just a few things for yourself a picture of us or a postcard from the mail I’m left thinking that you are everything I know the memories of making houses into homes meet me in the courtyard darling how you getting on? heard that you’re in love now babe I hope that she’s the one I can’t see in front of me but I think that you’ll be good at making making all your houses into homes
9.
I’m an honest girl with a heart of gold hanging heavy like a paper weight on my soul skin is sensitive I am easily bruised by the thin whip of sleepless nights thinking of you your eyes love Like a waning moon Turned down for tonight Or for forever it’s true Your sharp stares Your jagged gazes Casting down on my decision making Please accept my apologies It’s hard to know when you should leave I could have been happy I’d have never felt free I’m an honest girl With a heart of gold Hanging heavy like a paperweight on my soul Skin is sensitive I am easily bruised By the thought of spending my life thinking of you I could have been happy
10.
If there’s no other way To show you my love Then I’ll slit my throat Donate my most precious organ to you Still beating and bleeding I’ll watch as you Turn it around Read all the things I’m too choked up to say As your hands become stained With the sleep I’ve lost just thinking of you When you’re done we can plant it by the light of the moon And as it grows we’ll admire the blossoms of my bleeding heart

about

“there’s just one thing in life that’s better than happiness and that’s freedom. it’s better to be free than to be happy.” -sissy hankshaw

today I am grateful for the history that has delivered me to this moment.
I accept its validity, its lesson.
I make space for it in my heart.
I don’t challenge but rather embrace it and its significance to my personhood.
but I also accept the process of closure, the ability to renew, to let go.

I free myself.

today is the first day of the rest of my life.
I will be deliberate and unafraid, discerning and kind.
I will not live under the umbrella of shame.
I will not accept responsibility for your feelings or your bullshit.
I will say no and be taken seriously.
I will not let anyone make me feel small.
I will be gracious and ask for what I need.
I will never apologize for being an emotional creature.

I will be proud when my thighs touch, when my belly is soft.
I will love who I want to, identify as I want to, be as loud or as quiet as I want to.
I will be whole.
I will live my truth, in kindness, in gratitude, in compassion and strength as a free, forward-thinking cowgirl, riding with purpose, tall in my stride, living like the wind in the depths of the desert.
and I will sing the blues
as I damn well please.

credits

released July 14, 2017

Anika Pyle – Vocals, Guitars
Anthony Tinnirella – Guitars
Dan Frelly – Drums
Eric Sheppard – Vocals, Bass

All songs written by Anika Pyle
Produced by Katie Ellen and Kyle Pulley
Recorded at Headroom Studios in Philadephia, PA by Kyle Pulley
with assistance from Mark Watter and Dash Flach
Additional recording by Eric Sheppard
Mixed by Eric Sheppard in Brooklyn, NY
Mastered by Josh Harris at Smith Lee Productions
Cover Design by Anika Pyle

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katie ellen Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

ktln sings the blues

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